Permanent Hickey Blushes Easy

“out of the sea
that nearly swallowed you”
-Etheridge Knight from Belly Song

outside the bar
it’s a white time
lacy taps my chest
it’s been snowing in her for a long time
she tells the other two

it went for a minute like
don’t put your hand in my pocket
it makes time move faster
went like rain in my beer
it makes it taste better

hi moonshine
good bye moon

now it goes different
she says it’s different when you’re single
come with me
no
come with me
no
come
no
you’re always walking away from me
I can’t wait I’m just I’m standing right here

just wanted to say
my capacity for love and kindness
is high I’m a wide open
it scares you I know
I’m red

Anna I thought you might like a call
from the loony bin
I’m in my thing again
punch myself in my own heart
it’s not interesting to walk in front of anything
tarataratarataratara

your name sounds like something my dad used to say
tara tara tara
you used to make me give the strippers
all your singles
cause I was shy
tara tara
stop standing in there

it is vast out here

so large

and aching

fuck

fucking the other her
I think would be like
letting the sea in

our bodies harboring out
hand harbor harbor hand
my heart wading the abyss

lacy was gonna fight the other other her
lacy says
I was just gonna make her cry…
with words
it’s ok it’s not like that 4 me

my brain the tired sonar

I’m still within sometimes
I’m still wishin sometime
you’d just
take your clothes off
push your nose in my shoulder
I will close my eyes
but I will not accept
this is an empty
chest swell

now it goes like this
now it goes like this

the equation is
put your hand on my face
make the days last
longer

Hairy Heart

Got a wife and kids and Baltamore jack
I went out for a ride and I never went back
Like a river that don't know where it's flowin
I took a wrong turn and I just kept goin
-Bruce

note:Lacy Jess Sara Me

notes eight and on

(notes: me and lacy)

its you and me little wonder

little wonder... speaking of where'd you get that bra at bird??

I keep listening to... go figure

Well I left my baby
For a dream as lovely
For a love that’s only in books I’ve read

Then I hit the city
Spent all my money
I just left my whole life in a taxicab

Cause it’s just a memory
I can love completely
When you’re really with me I’m indifferent

-Bright Eyes

Thank You I Love Yous

"And then I was gonna call it snowball effect on accident..."

On My Way to the Dying

and you love me till my heart stops
-Talking Heads

my little brothers
lean their boulder brains
up against my shoulders and sleep
sound small vortexes of boy
pushing my backbone into the seat of the car
two anchors on a blade
and as the night eases on
the headlights hilling the horizon
look only like stars on
a slow current

Those are my loves!

Check it out www.cmj.com/relay

Inside is

She shows up on friday night at your front door and she looks the size of a paper clip. And you instantly remember how you used to follow her around when you were little and she was big. She feels like a wire even when you hold onto her. She was in a fistfight but didn't throw a punch. A lady with flowers on her dress waved hi as she got wheeled in. Which is funny not funny because of course she was tied down. But you both giggle and her laugh is crushing like that of a four-year-old boy. She feels like a wire until you lean a little harder and your hearts patter up against each other and it feels like if you could lean your face up against the world.

(art by evan or jesse dunn when they were truly little)

Snow

"His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead."

ok maybe my charm

last night

"last night i had this dream about you
in this dream i'm dancing right beside you"
-daft punk

It's Me it's TOTALLY ME

now right now
I live in the slow guttural slack
of if I have to think about taking your clothes off again
I’m going to shoot myself in the
fucking foot

now right now
I live in the dim plume
of the neon pink
the lightless l.a.

the gutter plum
the vicious malfunction
the knowing you need something
when you first see it

now right now I am
my very own fear of abandonment
my very own shit eating grin
the cascading swirl of crazy that cores each one of us
a sparked up drunk

a fire place
a fall
the bottom of the wall

I would sleep but

my dogs took all my pillows

wal in low hale

there is not enough
order in this house

the scored skin
the plug in limb

she scatters me

like a petals
from a stemmed vein


snow under the dim
gaze of flak stars

the air breathing

steel street stamps

make the night unwhale


freight train
and
billow brain

I am a too long hand saint
I crash myself down
around the edges
pretend all I feel is real

she chumps me
and I slow change

la la la la

lacy and me and the sea anemone

Me and Rabbit Saturday 6pm

CARRIER TRANSITION


The paramours took extinction
badly, but by the horns.

That my friend is the boomerang fate
of heroics. Expect the haywire,

somewhat isosceles result.
Expect Sputnik.

Their mouths wharve,
conscript the idiotic traffic of smalltalk,

rob from each other a kerosene sea
that as yet only a bleakly assembled

dizziness in the limbs has approximated.
Just a brief listless yaw into something

so remote as themselves
that they can't approach now without a certain

bel canto, like thawing the frosted
face of an ikon with mere breath,

before uttering some last, choked ahoy
in the hokum face of death.

Its an act of nostalgia cadged from
turned backs (that and a fawned-over

semblance of mettle) they call some chivalric
habit capsizing days mutinied out.

I call it a snow job, personally. A hiatus.
Because the echo of their backlash is audible

when, occasionally, I blink, flush, hear them
coming again disguised as the present.

-Rabbit



Prayer for a small bird

Tonight baby girl I have forty
I’m gonna drink twenty
Cause I need very badly
To see one
Pretty face

And little Roxanne
When I get home
I’m gonna hide the other
In my pillow case
And maybe it will double
Maybe we’ll meet that lady shit
I’d sell a tooth or two for you


Or
Maybe I will get jacked in my sleep and whatever season
Vision it is that comes thru the night and takes the dreams
Away from my mind
Will somehow know to slip her thin hand
Under my head

It’s not enough money for mexico
But it’ll get her out of town

In a small blue car
Loud music lynyrd skynyrd and my incidental unconscious
All the things I want but won’t admit
My midnight moments swarm the air around her she smokes
With the windows closed tight hot boxes
My nightmares and desires

Forget themselves


In the morning
With luck or hope it will still be there and we will split it
Five pills for your belly and maybe I’ll find ten dollars worth of love
Or maybe two short whiskey’s with ice or
Maybe five more pills for your belly

Little girl
Maybe it will double ten pills four whiskeys
Our belly

-ad